Whaddumaddo?

When peppers attack!

2007-02-06T19:49:00.000-05:00

It is a scientific fact that the more spicy food you eat, the more you WANT to eat! (Sorry feminists, but it is the same for poontang!) It feeds upon itself over and over and well…over again! You feel it going down and, unfortunately, you feel it again when it visits via Montezuma!
I have long been a fan of “the heat”! It started with my humble beginnings and the black pepper craze of ’79! I found that fresh cracked pepper was the wicked god and I could get the rush from that easier than “poppers” or the Mountain Dogs (Mountain Dew and Mad Dog 20/20) that my friends were experimenting with! Not quite the buzz, but far less troublesome than the others and with less hang-over!

I soon learned that there was a point of diminishing returns when it came to black pepper and I had to tweak my fix! But how? I had never had any of the veggie peppers that I had seen in so many of my Mother’s cookbooks and I had little knowledge of these precious heaters. How would I get through the learning curve and still keep my taste buds in tact? (Fuck that, how would I get my fix, damn it?! I was, after all, a “heat-junkie”..!)

I literally stumbled upon Tabasco® sauce and it changed my fucking life!!! The sweet foretaste and the heated after-bite were absolute heaven to my ‘buds! How could I have been missing out on this sweet nectar for so long? Were my parents goat herders? Did they not want me to be happy? Was there really no Santa Claus??

I soon learned that there was a whole world of heat out there that had been kept from me! (Those bastards!) I was astounded and hurt as I couldn’t understand how my parents, who claimed to love me so very much, coulve kept this door closed to me for so long!? There was “heat” out there and you guys don’t care enough about me to share that knowledge with me? Was I adopted?

No, I was not adopted! I was, however, brought up in a family with ‘heat-aversion & taste empathy’ (h.a.t.e. if you will). How could this have happened to me? I was a good kid. I got good grades, I hung out with the “in” crowd! I held doors open for old ladies, I said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and I even lifted the seat before I peed! (I even washed my hands after doing so! I mean, come on!)

Then, came the single most life changing moment of my life…pledging! Not money, if that’s what you are thinking, but pledging a fraternity! Alpha Chi Rho to be exact! There were times of embarrassment, there where times when things worked to my advantage, but NOTHING made or had more of an impact than the hot sauce I had to eat over my fish-steaks! AHHHHHHHHHH! What a simple bit of greatness wrapped up in a little tiny bottle! The name was Texas Pete® and though it was not much hotter than Tabasco®, it was hotter and I was on my way to newer and better hot sauces!

I eventually found my way to jalapeno sauces. Great tastes including some by Rio Grande and even Dave’s! Then came the single most life changing moment in my hot sauce-life…habaneros! Holy ass shrapnel! I cant even begin to tell you how friggin much I LOVE the hottest of the hot peppers! What the fuck was I thinking? How is it that I missed this “heat” for this friggin long?
Dave’s Temporary Insanity Sauce®, Dave’s Total Insanity Sauce®, Dave ULTIMATE Insanity Sauce®! Holly shiit muslim Batman! What the fuck had I been thinking? I had missed out on the holy friggin grail of heat because I didn’t know where to look? How the hell does THAT happen?

You try giving away a free toy!?

2006-12-18T12:57:00.000-05:00

Well, here I go with my Scrooge rant for this holiday season!

Many of you are probably familiar with the sterile, or maybe traditional is better, charitable organizations for getting toys and such to needy children in your area. As is typical this time of year, I get hit up from all angles to help out or make a child’s holiday brighter; and I am truly not knocking the organizations that assist with this each year. What I am complaining about is the impersonal and unfeeling WAY in which we seem to have allowed the gift of giving to have changed.

I have two children, though my son is too young to get this quite yet, but my daughter is seven and she has been privy to seeing her parents and those around her give to charities, shelters, etc. But what I was hoping to be able to do this year was to get a toy and actually allow her to give it, in the real sense, in person to a needy or less fortunate child. The anonymous nature in which we “give” these days builds no real moral fiber in our children. You buy a gift, you put it in a pile, and someone else distributes them. Thanks and Happy Holidays! WTF!?

I have been trying to find a way through local hospitals, shelters, and such to arrange to do this very thing this year and have, so far, been shut out! I mean, I get that we live in a ridiculously litigious society and everyone, including the beneficiary organizations want to cover their asses, or be P.C. or whatever, but come on! All I want to do is show my daughter just how much joy the act of real giving actually has on not only the receiver but the giver as well. Well, so far, no good. But I’ve not given up yet!

Between parent and person!

2006-12-12T10:57:00.000-05:00

Please just be quiet and go upstairs and go to sleep. I understand that your tummy isn’t feeling good, but the heat is set the same way it was last night and the night before that. Yes, I believe that your tummy is hurting and I wish I could do something that made you feel better right away. I would trade places with you in a second if I could, to make your pain go away…no really I would!

These are the nightly rituals or a parent. Not you? Well, I guess I am just “one of those parents” then, huh? I am probably the most patient, caring, and loving parent you will ever meet and I don’t say that as a pat on my back, I say that because I genuinely and sincerely feel that each of us was cut out to be something and for me, that is being a parent! I’m not infallible, I’m not unrealistic, and I’m not even cocky! What I am is a man who lives and breathes as my children live and breathe!!

Do you get what I just said? Do you feel those words resonate through your very being? If not, either I didn’t word it as well as I thought I did, or you haven’t had the fortune to be a parent! (There could be any number of other reasons, come on I aint a shrink!)

Parents can be good, bad, competent, incompetent, ignorant, malicious, and any other word we, as a society use, to describe any other facet of that very society. The line, however, is drawn with this man in that I will not tolerate nor will I let a moment go by without getting down on the floor or the ground or into the car seat or the stroller or swing on the swing or the glider or crawl under the cover (not just a little but all the way down to the foot of the bed!)! I AM that guy! I AM that person! I AM that father!

Being THAT father is my life’s calling! My children not only know this and feel this, they actually GET this! They, as well as other children in my surround, come to me and almost instantly they seem to relate to me. I know you may call it childishness or some other symptom of a less than adult persona, but look at it through my eyes and in this manner. I sum it up in one thought, word, symptom…”If.” Not “If” only. Or “If” I had only…or any other resonance of that same phrase, sentiment, or emotion.

The world opens up to each of us in respect to our own sense of self and ability. Thankfully, mine found me right where I was; enjoying myself, smiling, and loving and living with my children!

I love you Ty and Kayla!

If you live, you will die...but when?

2006-12-07T16:02:00.000-05:00

I know this sounds alarming and for all of us it is a dire consequence that we all must face! The simple truth of the mater is that if you live, you will die! In reality through it is an all too serious numbers game. According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) data for 2004, 2,398,343 people died. While during that same year there were 4,115,590 births in the U.S. Not quite a two to one ratio, but close. At this rate we won’t need to worry quite as much about the death rate! This data shows births at a rate of 14 per 1000 population while death rates are approximately 8 per 1000 during that same year. Still seems we are moving towards global population overload, right, well not necessarily.

The death rate in the U.S. in 1940 was approximately 1 million less than it was in 2004** but when compared per thousand as we showed above the rate was 10.7. This shows that we have come a long way with our medical research and care, but are we moving forward wisely? We’ve eradicated or greatly reduced the number of illnesses or diseases that contributed to the mortality rates during the 1940’s, however, we have seen many new illnesses and/or maladies take their own prominent place and add to the mortality rates in recent years.

The troubling and curious piece to this puzzle is that even though we are living longer here in the U.S. and the birth rate is two times the death rate, the short sightedness of this theory is that while we continue to improve upon our healthcare system (for the most part-there’s a whole other article in here about the pitfalls and shortcomings of our system here) , in many parts of the world, the death rate is beginning to impinge upon the birthrate and when mass genocide, famines, wars, and pestilence is added in, we cant hope to continue to turn a blind eye to the needs of the rest of the world just because our resources are being utilized in Iraq, Afghanistan, or anywhere else in the world.

“Of the 57 million deaths in 2002, 10.5 million were among children of less than five years of age, and more than 98% of these were in developing countries.” Also this… “Reviewing the latest global health trends, this chapter finds disturbing evidence of widening gaps in health worldwide. In 2002, while life expectancy at birth reached 78 years for women in developed countries, it fell back to less than 46 years for men in sub-Saharan Africa, largely because of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. For millions of children today, particularly in Africa, the biggest health challenge is to survive until their fifth birthday, and their chances of doing so are less than they were a decade ago. This is a result of the continuing impact of communicable diseases. However, a global increase in noncommunicable diseases is simultaneously occurring, adding to the daunting challenges already facing many developing countries.” These are direct quotes from the WHO’s paper from 2003 entitled Shaping the Future. ***

Just my thoughts and I welcome yours.

* http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm ** http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/pdf/mortality/nvsr54_13_t01.pdf *** http://whqlibdoc.who.int/whr/2003/9241562439.pdf

Play to learn?

2006-12-02T12:20:00.000-05:00

I sit here this cold, yet warm and luxurious morning, drinking my hot cup of coffee (actually its probably more likely to be my third or fourth…whatever) and playing with my son. He is exploring his world through play and it hits me, where did I loose that ability? Was it just time that altered that part of me? When did I wake up and allow myself to believe it was acceptable to learn in un-fun ways?

I have always considered myself a fun loving, spontaneous, existential, (okay, okay), and well, I’ve always prided myself on my ability to have fun and laugh!…I obviously used to learn about things that way as well. I am just struggling with my memory of when that STOPPED?! I know many things and I have the ability to learn many more, but how did I learn those things I already know? I would imagine some of the most rudimentary of these things such as how to stand and walk probably were learned though trial and error, but I also believe that even through trial and error, I was probably having fun figuring out how not to butt plant every time I wanted to go pick up a toy. I KNOW I had fun learning to climb, I’ve been told since I was very young that I had an innate sense about how to find my way to the top of something. I am told, when I was but a wee lass, I saw something, what it is isn’t truly important (candy!!) on the top of my dresser and instead of getting upset that it was out of reach I proceeded to pull out each drawer in succession and create a makeshift flight of stairs to the prize!

I realize I got a bit away from my point, sorry. But when did we as adults (or have you?) given up learning through play? I think companies all over the world, anywhere could benefit from a new Human Resources Coup…Learning Through Play! I know it doesn’t have a good acronym (I tried to come up with one that was cool, but I only got as close as CRAP and that is totally off point!) and doesn’t really roll of the tongue, but it’ll do.

I propose; no, challenge…if you will, each of you, the very next opportunity you have to learn something new, try to learn it in the way a child would, with wonderment, curiosity, etc and report back here how it went!
Keep smiling!

Great Food Memories!

2006-11-26T10:30:00.000-05:00

Smells have an immense ability to take us somewhere. To whisk us away to a fonder more beautifully thought of time. Whether it be a candle, or bread baking, or your favorite desert; each one of us has something that takes us back to a better time. (It probably can take you back to a worse time too, but for this moment we'll deal with only the good ones.) This article came to my while reading a seed about (allow me to be vague-I don't want the federales to know what I mean) pot. No, I'm not high right now, I don't know the cool people, but that is what made me think of writing. I love food, I love working it off too, but I love food. This is a great basis if you really want a place to start. Now, not just any food, but foods from childhood are the best for me in bringing back a memory. Whether it be baklava, or Portuguese Sweet Bread, or quahogs, or even the many fragrances of a real New England clam boil! I love food, but the smells and experience of eating this kind of food is a whole other kind of a good time! I makes me smile from the inside out! Eating was always a huge part of each day when I was a little boy. Everyone seemed to get together and mill around the kitchen while either my Memere or Grand mother or great aunt or great uncle would be going at it stirring up smells and aromatic presents. Cooking was an event and a time for people to reconnect.
I have fond memories of hiding under my Aunt Joyce's dinner table while the ten foot long by four foot wide table would engorge itself with every amazing food my relatives could imagine and even more than I could imagine. What a feast!! A feast for the senses, a feast for the eyes, and one of the fondest memories I have of food! Though the eating of it was incredible as well!
I have a memory, now it was so long ago I don't know if its a memory of actually being there or a memory of being told I was there and this is what happened, but I like the first scenario perspective so here I go. My great aunt and uncle lived in a walk-up in the New Bedford area of Massachusetts. This is a window open, everyone says hi, very warm and safe kind of neighborhood. Smells came at you from everywhere; clothes drying, old cars, wood siding, and food being prepared or even just the sweet left over aroma of the plates of a good breakfast just being cleared.
In my aunt and uncles place, there was a bit of a musty smell at first entering their home, followed then by the rush of everything cooking all throughout the apartment. Fast forward to a few minutes later, pleasantries past, as I walk over to the window and the radiator in front of it. Standing tall and shiny is a huge sauce pot full of the most amazing smelling red sauce, just slowly stewing away on the top of the radiator! You cook where you cook, I guess. I still think of that as being an amazing place and an amazing memory.
What about you, what memory of food do you hold close to you that makes your whole spirit smile?

Secret Alcohol Ingredient Discovered!

2006-11-21T13:22:00.000-05:00

In a story that is making headlines all over the world, today scientists in Geneva have uncovered what may be the most tumultuous and disturbing find in the history of humanity. Through exhaustive tests and double and triple blind studies done under close supervision and hands on assistance from the FDA, NAACP, KKK and other support groups that many of the manufacturers of beer seemingly and unbeknownst to the general public have added a super secret ingredient to all of their recipes. This ingredient has contributed to countless crimes, riots, and accounts throughout recorded history of heinous debauchery. That secret ingredient is liquid racism!

This ingredient has been found to have a significant effect on people of low moral values, low self esteem, high self importance, and inbred stupidity. The major beer manufacturers were unavailable for comment at the time of this article’s publishing. So to recap, alcohol has been laced with liquid racism for years without the general public having any knowledge. If you feel you have imbibed any of this substance and are feeling these affects, please go to the nearest restroom and stick your finger down your throat or if you have syrup of ipecac follow the instructions on the bottle and that should work as well. If you have any of this substance at home, please dispose of it properly and by all means keep it away from your children!

The future of a tolerant humanity rests in your hands. Please do the right thing!

What's your favorite automobile ever?

2006-11-16T13:01:00.000-05:00

I love cars! As such, I after I have gotten past the initial stages of getting to know someone, (cursory likes and dislikes, favorite foods, movies, music, etc); my next question without fail is this:
What is your favorite automobile of all time?
It’s a relatively simple question until you really start breathe into it, think about, and give it life. People like automobiles for so many different reasons and with so many different criteria that it is nearly impossible to truly name THE best automobile of all time. It just doesn’t work that way for me. I know people can break it down into favorite muscle car, or exotic, or suv, or whatever, but takes some of the simple pleasure out of why we actually like automobiles in the first place.
As things are right now, there really is an automobile out there for everyone; whether you are environmentally concerned or a speed junkie, if you are willing to look there is something out there to suit your needs and/or wants.
I’ve put together a short list of automobiles that I think are fantastic, but I’d love to get your choices too.
-Jaguar E type, Xj220, Mk2, Xk ss
-Lamborghini Muira, Countach, Murcielago, Gallado,
-Aston martin Db5, Db7, Db9, Vanquish, Db4 Gt zagato
-Ferrari 250 gto, Daytona, Testarossa, 288 gto, F40, F50, 456, Maralleno/550, Enzo
-Lotus Esprit, Elise, Elite
-Porsche 911, Carrera Gt
-Mercedes Benz Slr Mclaren
-Ford Gt40
-Bentley Continental Gt
-Ac/Shelby cobra, Gt350, Gt500
-Pagani Zonda
-Mclaren F1
-Buggati Eb110, Veyron
-Mg B
-Bmw M1
-Jeep CJ7
-1969 Mercury Cougar (sorry, the first car I bought with my money!)
-And of course the 1966 Chevy Corvette! (I LOVE VETTES!)

Now that you’ve seen what I like, take a minute and give it some thought and let me know what you agree with or disagree with and what automobile you would put in the pantheon of automotive excellence!

Clarity of a Common Man

2006-11-15T13:59:00.000-05:00

I am not a health expert, I don’t even play one on TV, but what I do know is what I feel and how I think and what works for me. I’ve read many of the books that have come out over the years about self-help, or building a better you (me), or how to meditate, or how to pray, or whatever. I guess that each of these egocentric pursuits has had an impact on how I think and feel, but none was, in itself, the answer for me.

I believe we, as inspired beings of nature, nurture, and imagination can find what works for each of us, but it requires that we question everything. If you are brought up within your family’s belief system and you find something within you that cannot accept that system for yourself, question why that is and pursue and research ways of thinking similar to what you have/had in mind. Personal meditation techniques are just that, personal; what you find works for one person may not (and often probably will not) work for you. That doesn’t mean you need to abandon your pursuit of peace, just tweak it a bit maybe and see what happens…after all you are the most knowledgeable person when it comes to you, right? Use what you know of yourself to make the quest for your peacefulness and insight more concise and adaptive to what you wish to accomplish. I find that imagery works best for me. I picture balloons suspended above me, within each balloon a thought, or stress, or task, or whatever that I need to deal with. I hold tight to each of the balloon strings and close my eyes, then release. Just as I feel that last string sliding out of my hand I open my eyes and look up to see what it is that was last to leave or float away and THAT is the thing I deal with first. I know this is a fairly simplistic approach to problem resolution, but who says the journey needs to always be a difficult one?

Each moment is special and often, in retrospect, we feel we don’t get to enjoy it to the fullest. However, if indeed you are remembering back to an instance you feel you didn’t make special enough at that time, stop and think to yourself; If I am remembering that moment and wishing I had made it more special at the time, maybe that moment actually was special as (you) made a memory of it to relive whenever you wanted to recall it. Moments that we can cherish are those that we remember with more than one sense. People often speak of a song or a smell or a taste bringing back a memory. To me what that means is that you really WERE in that moment and enjoying it to the fullest and that certainly fits my definition of special.

“Every day on this side of the dirt is a good day.” I heard this once years ago and I do not know whom to attribute it to, but what I do know is if you can get past the aspects of the argument of afterlife and enjoy, REALLY ENJOY, your time ‘on this side of the dirt’…the little things that used to bother you, just seem to fade away.

VW Vibrator

2006-11-11T07:49:00.000-05:00

Fade in to a long silver cord draped from the dashboard, curling its way up and between the legs of a beautiful young woman sitting in the front seat of her brand new VW Rabbit! A gentle wurr rising from behind the sensual pulsating music makes itself noticed over the driving beat. The camera glides upward revealing a beautiful smile followed immediately by pursed lips and a whimpering sigh. The woman purrs and the music crescendos, the camera pans over her thigh and reveals...the world's best selling and most popular vibrator; the Rabbit...THIS time it’s the new Rabbit VW Rabbit Signature Edition with dc power cord included for those long lonely road trips!
The new VW Rabbit Rabbit! Taking self indulgence to the next level! Move over Slash and John Mayer!
VW drivers wanted!
(Hey, it could happen. I'll call it C ooperative U nilateral M arketing!)

How hot do you like it?

2006-11-10T14:19:00.000-05:00

I can remember growing up with hot sauce seemingly ever present in my life. Its been a friend to spice up boring days and warm cold nights; to help down the beverages of amber persuasion and to top off a great night out.

See when I was a child, hot sauce was used, not sparingly I might add, as a deterrent to my fingernail biting (sorry, gross habit, but whatever). To the best of my knowledge the only hot sauces used on me were Tabasco and Pete's. Now, I'm not saying this was the first line of defense for my nails; I had been subjected to bitter apple, cinnamon, and at lest one other medicinal gooey crap that either I cant remember the name of or I've shoved so far down in my subconscious it would take hypnosis to get it back. As you must have surmised by now, none of these worked...actually quite to the contrary. My favorite flavored candy is cinnamon, I LOVE bitter apple, BUT the gooey crap...not happenin'!

I do however have an affinity for hot and spicy sauces and food. It started with those sauces that we in the spicy food club (not really a club, but I started typing it and just ended up there-go with me here, huh!?) consider MILD. I graduated to jalapeno sauces and a myriad of other combinations. Until one day, may years ago, I happened upon a company called Dave's. I called (yes, not point and clicked) and order a bottle of Insanity Sauce! It just sounded so good and hot and, well, hot! Could this be it? Could this be the sauce that ends my search?

A week or so passed and the parcel arrived at my door. It was beautiful! I couldn't wait to open it and dab some on my finger to taste! So I did. DAMN, that was hot! I used it on EVERYTHING...much to the displeasure of many unsuspecting dinner and/or party guests! Sorry! (You know who you are.) I couldn't get enough of the stuff. But as with most spicy addicts this too soon became tame, so this time I went on line and found Dave's. This time he was offering Totally Insanity and Ultimate Insanity sauces. Well, damn, why choose, so I ordered both.

Again a week went bye and my precious box arrived. I went through the same process of cursing the bubble wrap and packing tape and opened it to find two stunningly simple yet ominous looking bottles. I respectfully twisted open the Total Insanity sauce and found it to be quite hot and spicy but not obnoxious. Then came the time to try the Ultimate Insanity Sauce...holy shit! This stuff could be used to clean the rust off of your car! Don't get me wrong, after my taste buds got out of the ICU, the taste was very good, but WTF!?!

Not too long after that I was amazed to find a tv show, on Discovery I believe, about the making of Dave's sauces. They went through the usual processes for most of the sauces, BUT then they came to the Ultimate Insanity sauce. These workers were wearing clean suits, goggles, and respirators for fudge sake!!! No wonder that stuff tooled my world!

So now I just use habenero sauce and count my taste buds lucky to still be alive!

Hmmmm?

2006-11-09T12:58:00.000-05:00

How about these interesting tidbits. Please feel free to add to the list.
(Btw-Do you know the name of the plastic things at the end of shoelaces? I do!)

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of asecond.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All 50 states are listed across the top of theLincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appearuntil the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in theletters "mt".

February 1865 is the only month in recorded historynot to have a full moon.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying overthe Parliament building is an American flag.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, butour nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with onlythe left hand; "lollipop" with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of thetyping.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over thelazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Fallsfroze completely solid.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English languagewhich end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language thathave all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be madeusing the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room duringa dance.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucusevery two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

Then was funny than now!

2006-11-07T11:09:00.000-05:00

Spent a little time perusingthe web for funny commentaries and how they have changed as the times have.Please feel free to share any you may have. I know, or have heard of is probably more acurate, tons more, so let's see what you've got!

then: "Battleship mouth and a rowboat ass."
now: Big talker, small doer.

then: Busier than a one legged cat tryin' to bury @!$%# on a marble floor.
now: a very busy person

then: Busier than a one legged cat tryin' to bury @!$%# on a marble floor.
now: a very busy person

then: Stick a broom up my ass, and I'll sweep the floor while I'm at it.
now: Don't give me anything else to do, I am already too busy.

then: Sounds like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
now: Someone who is full of it, can't be believed.

then: I'd walk through hell in gasoline underwear for you.
now: I love you.

then: Shakin like a dog @!$%#tin a peach pit
now: Trembling with fear

then: Looks like S/He chased a fart through a barrel of nails!
now: S/He is pretty darn ugly.

then: His head whistles in a cross wind.
now: He has no brains at all!

then: If you taped his mouth shut, he'd fart himself to death.
now: He is long winded

Would an avatar by any other name, smell as sweet?

2006-11-06T12:47:00.000-05:00

It is one of those things that you either find and love or keep messing with and changing until you find one to love and keep…it’s your avatar. I started with my first being a picture of me from an older board of directors website (I know, though I’m really not lame, I play lame on the vine a lot!), but quickly got tired of it. Then I noticed that a few of my friends were beginning to change their avatars more and more often. When I asked them their reasons for this, the list was long, but what it really boiled down to for most of them (and me as well) is that it is extremely difficult for some of us to find that one true image that not only interests us, but more importantly one that inspires us to achieve greatness, to find our true altruistic inner-being…oh, ah, sorry, got a little carried away. But in all seriousness, NOT, I have been struggling with what makes a person choose their avatar. I’ve been paying special attention to those of my friends lately and I’ve noticed that they seem to boil down to a few categories.

First, I see the usual (though often times quite off-center and unusual) self portraits. These can either be innocuous or, more often than not, bizarre and/or self-deprecating. I think my favorite picture avatar is one that made me look very tan and happy, though I was quite pale and not very happy to be having my picture taken.

The second type of avatar I find in increasing numbers is of the spoof or comedic genre; the funny movie star snapshot or the cartoon character funny-face image that makes us smile. Though I have not come across the Laura Croft avatar, I still hold out hope that she exists out there…somewhere!

Whatever the reason for your choosing your avatar, I’d love to hear from you. Hopefully I will garner some knowledge from each of you to assist me in my quest for my holy grail of avatars soon…until then “I fart in your general direction!” (Monty Python cracks me up!)

To Lift the Seat or Not!?

2006-11-01T14:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry, I know, the title doesn’t actually address specifically what this article is about, but it is catchy!
I wanted to put this out there to get others’ opinions on this extremely important issue.
When is it permissible for a man to use the woman’s rest room?
I know I’ve been to bars and parties and concerts, etc where the women’s room line is ridiculous (these places must be designed by men, huh?!) and the men’s room line is virtually non-existent and women are more than eager to step inside and relieve themselves. BUT, with all the concerns women have about men’s rest room habits; e.g. leaving the seat up, urinating on the seat or floor, etc; when is it truly okay for a man to step into the ladies room to utilize the facilities?
I was just at Starbucks and the line for coffee was long (imagine that!?) and so I figured I would go and answer nature’s call while I waited. I got to the men’s room and turned the handle and noticed it was locked, so I stepped back to wait my turn. From within the men’s room I could hear the toilet flushing, the sink turning on and off, then lather-rinse-repeat…SEVERAL times! What could this guy be doing? THEN I heard the familiar chirp of a Nextel from within the nether land of potty-dom! What the heck? Another guy came around the corner and was frustrated to see me waiting so he turned and walked away, only to return moments later to tell me (why I’m not sure) that he just needed to wash his hands and so he entered the lady’s room. Mind you not one woman had come near the lady’s room the whole time I was standing there waiting my turn for the men’s room so I couldn’t exactly fault the guy. It did, however, make me think about when it would be allowable and/or permissible for me to actually enter the woman’s room and do my business. Then I thought, the ‘vine (for those of you who dont know me, I am also an avid contributor to Newsvine as vicaxp-check it out at http://www.newsvine.com), what better place to get feedback on this important topic.

So there you have it, my reasoning for posing the question to all of you.

BTW-The gentleman did finally come out about 20 minutes after I had begun waiting with a cell phone, brown paper towels, and an empty coffee cup in his hands. I didn’t ask, but I had, indeed, waited my turn and used the appropriate, gender-specific facility.

Morons In Our Midst

2006-10-30T15:57:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or is there something (or several things) that occur in your life everyday that lead you to believe that people, not you or me of course, are morons? Even the simplest of directions cause them to panic or worse, convulse! I hear from people throughout the day, every day, that are calling me and knowingly have not followed the protocol spelled out to them so thoroughly as to piss off a seven year old for too much repetition! And how do they start off their message, or worse our conversation (yes, actually talking to a moron is exponentially more painful then listening to a voicemail message), ‘I know I was supposed to…’ or “I realize this isn’t how I was supposed to do this, but…’
Are these the same self-absorbed morons that can’t decide that eating trans fat is bad for you so NYC has to ban it as in cashblog’s article? Or the people that decide not to wear their seatbelt because they wouldn’t be able to get out of their vehicle in an accident or the seatbelt would wrinkle their clothes? Let’s see Mr. Consumer, here are the steps to make sure this process runs smoothly and to ensure that you are satisfied with your experience. ‘Nah, those rules don’t apply to me and if you cant kiss my ass gently, but firmly enough to satisfy me, I’ll complain to your boss and I’ll get what I want anyway.' And that all too often is tue. I'll call it Societal/Customer Dis-Service! Let's face it, the customer is NOT always right!
This friggin society we live in with its 24/7 expectations and entitlement is driving me insane (not literally, but go with me for the sake of this argument)! When I grew up we didn’t expect the local grocery store to be open on Thanksgiving in case we F’d up the turkey so we could get pizza or more booze because your crazy cousin drank it all the night before when everyone was in bed already. I mean, come on, don’t those people have family and lives of their own? Don’t we value our fellow man/woman the same as we value ourselves and/or members of our family? Of course not, because so many people have come to expect -and society, specifically greedy businesses, have not only succumb to their every whim, but have catered to their every desire to the point that when I drive by a convenience store over a holiday I feel badly for those working inside and not being able to spend time with their family and/or friends. Let's face it, our time is valuable and nothing shows another person you care about them quite as much as when you share yours with them!
So in the future, please do yourself a favor and when someone actually takes a few moments of their valuable time to explain something to you so as to make it easier for you in the future, shut your mouth and open yours ears and mind! ‘Nuf said.

Too Lazy to Write My Own...

2006-10-27T16:50:00.001-04:00

...but this is funny potty humor from an unknown source! I hope you enjoy!

CROP DUSTING -- When farting, you walk briskly around the office sothe smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff butdoesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do notstop until the full payload has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feetto make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk inand check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leaveand come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. Peoplemay become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into thebathroom.

ESCAPEE -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal orforcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a suddenwave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledgeit. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farterin the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee.It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makesboth parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK -- When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machinegun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. Ifthis should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyonehas left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what justoccurred.

COURTESY FLUSH -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poohits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poo has tostink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing theWALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME -- Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the doorafter you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a veryuncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts,it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoidedwith the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER -- A colleague who poos at work and is proudof it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter thebathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Alwayslook around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.

THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) -- A group of co-workers who bandtogether to ensure emergency pooing goes off without ncident. Thisgroup can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The ClosetPooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building whereyou can least expect visitors. Try floors that arepredominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of apooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in thecubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of themost shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a pooat work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid alluncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into thebathroom that you are in a cubicle.This can be usedto cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Veryeffective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TurdBurglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove alldoubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave thebathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.

WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toiletwater. This is also an embarrassing incident. If youfeel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loudsplashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Tryusing a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Couldspend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting onthe pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on thecrapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty.This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

My Prostate at 40

2006-10-26T14:54:00.000-04:00

Let’s see, how to begin this one. Hmmm, um, I’m stumped! See I’ve been searching a lot over the past week or so for websites, articles, etc that speak to or about turning 40 from a man’s viewpoint. I mean, DAMN, there are a ton of sites for you women about this age, but the one’s I’ve found so far for men are mainly doctor related or health related websites telling me to get my prostate checked, or bend over and cough, or some other unpleasantry like that (yeah, may not be a word, but you get my meaning-“Moon River!” Can you name the movie?). I thought for sure I’d type in ‘turning 40’ or ‘my prostate at 40’ and I’d get a veritable cornucopia of hits…NOT! It seems when it comes to crossing off year 39 for us guys, we either just don’t feel the need to talk/write about it or just don’t feel any different than we did at 39. I’m not sure quite yet which is true, but I’m starting to compile my data and I’ll let you know soon.

For now you’ll just have to take solace in the knowledge that on October 28 in history a great many things happened. For instance, did you know the St Louis Gateway Arch is only one year older than me?! I wish as many people had ridden me! But I digress; the Cuban Missile Crisis ended on 1962, the Statue of Liberty was dedicated to the US from France back in 1886 and, if you know me maybe the most fitting is that congress enforced prohibition on that date back in 1919. Oh yea, and Julia Roberts is one year younger than me! Actually I share my birth date with many other people, unfortunately if their names come up on a birthday search it probably means they are more famous or infamous than me so I won’t mention those snapper-heads here!

What I will do though is say that the 40 years I have been here on this earth have been the most amazing, awe inspiring, saddest, joyful, depressing, interesting, boring, and all around up and down days that most of you have had…with the exception of maybe one thing. I won’t wake up the day after my birthday with a friggin hang over!!

What the...?!

2006-10-25T12:42:00.000-04:00

As a father of two who takes so much pride in bringing up, nurturing, teaching, learning with and from my children, I am thoroughly disgusted and saddened every day at the news of child abuse all over the world. I know the old adage ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ is cute and sweet and makes us all feel warm and fuzzy while at the same time providing parents with an excuse to not take on the responsibilities there actions dictate. You create a child, you take care of the child, and when you are old an incapable of taking care of yourself, (hopefully) the child takes care of you. Sounds like a pretty realistic expectation to me, but apparently I am naive.

I just read a story about a mother who slapped her three year old daughter to death and had the audacity to say it was her, the mother, who was abused as her hand hurt or was swollen from the beating. Do what? Now, I’ve never really been a staunch advocate for the death penalty, at least not without due process, but I find it very difficult not to wish the absolute worst scenarios upon anyone who harms a child like this. I’m talking as painful and cruel and unusual as we can possibly come up with kind of torture. If you are a parent or even just a caring member of society you must understand my frustration here. I know, that makes me sound abhorrent or malicious or uncaring, but I just want people to be accountable for their actions. Maybe it is true on some levels that we can rehabilitate some of these people; I have to hope that is true, but if someone is screwed up or mentally unbalanced enough to kill their child and say they were the one abused, I have to ask for the old ‘eye-for-an-eye’ punishment that was and in some countries is still proscribed. And just to clarify, I am not a religious person, I do not practice any form of organized religion, I am not a zealot, but I do meditate. I am just tired of all the crazy and horrible things we do to our children and wanted to put my thoughts out there. Agree or not, please…but please don’t argue with me without a better solution.

See the story here: http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html
under headline "Picking on the victim"

Pantene or Clorox?!

2006-10-24T11:10:00.000-04:00

Since we were little kids, most of us have loved taking a bath and splashing around! The general fun of getting everything wet; the curtains, the rug, the floor, the walls, your parents was such an innocent and beautiful thing back then. It seems now that our bathing needs are usually, not always mind you (you KNOW what I mean ladies and gentlemen dont make me spell it out here for you. Cum on!), fairly quick endeavors as we need to get to work or dinner or whatever. But we do it. We take hygeine seriously and make sure that we are not stanky and gross for more than a day or so (weekends, mind you, weekends-or vacations maybe).

Well, what would you think if I told you you could bathe or even shower, but NOT cut or wash your hair (or beard for men, please just for men) for 26 years!?!? If you are like me you wouldnt even be able to imagine it, let alone take on that challenge of putritude! Well, I've found someone not only willing to try, but he actually did it! I know...FRIGGIN GROSS! Well if you think the thought of it is gross, check out the link below! Pay particular attention to the article, the baby, and most of all the water!

Bon apetite!

http://weirdasianews.com/2006/10/18/man-how-smelly-will-that-be/

Responsible or accountable?

2006-10-23T15:42:00.000-04:00

Webster's defines responsible as "obligated to do or answer for" and the word accountable as "responsible". Now that I've just muddied the waters even more, let me explain where I am going with this. I am responsible for my actions and accountable for the consequences of those actions. Still with me? I hope so, because here is the crux of where I am going today. In the past I wouldve said I had a relapse or messed up or the illness got the best of me, well no more! See, I am a recovering alcoholic and on saturday I CHOSE to have a drink, several in fact. It wasnt any one choice and there was no lapse (except in my judgement). You see, today I found a website that made me stop and think in a whole new way! The movement is called Rational Responsibilty and basically it says that you, or more correctly in this instance, I am responsbile for my actions. Its not the illness and its not a relapse, it is a choice, poor or not to be accountable for what we choose to do.

Now I'm not asking anyone else to understand this, just be open to the idea. Nor am I asking for anyone to feel sorry or badly for me, quite the contrary actually, I would ask each of you that I know for forgiveness with my past actions and that you move forward with me as I continue to make progress. Wait, that's not right either, I made a choice today and that choice is not a one-day-at-a-time choice, but a forever choice. I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN AND I WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND! No more wondering what tomorrow holds, I've decided and that decision is non-negotiable! Get it? I didnt either, but reading and re-reading this philosophy or thought process described in this website is enlightening and I am thankful I found it.

Know that I am only human, but then again, I am human and that means the control is mine!
I am sober and will continue to be...forever more!

A Novel News Idea

2006-10-20T12:38:00.000-04:00

It seems when I grew up I always heard my parents explain the evening news programs and their necessity to watch them during my shows in the following manner; ‘We need to stay current on what is going on in the world around us. We want to be informed citizens.’ They would then proceed with watching an hour or so of the local and national news shows. Often my sister and I would watch along with them to help us be better and more informed citizens. So it seems logical to expect that I would do the same when it came to the news and viewing habits of my children; and for a time, it was that way. Recently, however, say in the last five to seven years, the news is no longer a place for families to get their news and information…FAR from it! The news now is in your face, graphic, disturbing, sensationalized, and all too often scary to anyone other than adults (and even then, things are scary around the world to me too!).
My seven year old daughter said to me the other evening after I explained to her that she would need to go read her book in the other room while I got through the headlines of the evening; “Why, Dad? Don’t you want me to be an informed citizen?” Straight from the mouth of babes, huh?! That got me to thinking, why do our news services always feel it necessary to end their broadcasts with ‘good news’? It seems to me that an occasional lead-in story with a happy ending or a cute little animal would serve us all well in this time of terrorists and nuclear testing.
Though I am not so naive as to think for one second that the world my children are growing up in is even close to that of my childhood, it would be nice from time to time to have a throw-back day like they do in sports and find something uplifting to talk about on our news broadcasts and bring back that feeling of family once again.

The PBS!

2006-10-17T12:21:00.000-04:00

Today started like every other day, woke up tired and wanting to roll back over. Got in the shower, shaved, got dressed, made lunches for everyone and got on the road. Though the morning did have a feeling like a wind of change was coming my way. I felt that gurgling building up in my duwadinum and was so very grateful not to have had that cup of coffee yet, as traffic was at a virtual stand-still. I was brewing up a monster of a bowl pizza and I was nowhere near a facility and had no intention of dropping trou in the rain!

I drove on and the eminence front seemed to subside for the time being. I listened to the radio and the moment faded into my past. I went into the office and sat down to turn on my computers and just as my arse hit the seat, rrrrrrrgggggggmmmfffff! A huge gas bubble made its presence known! Not that I farted mind you, but I did feel the beast's call! I would have to get up gracefully all the while clenching my arse cheeks together like some sort of glad wrapped day old loaves of bread to keep the menace from visiting too soon!

I got to my throne and none too soon! No sooner had my trousers hit the floor then my body released the most noxious, loud, and bowl drying flatus of my life, but the newly constructed bathroom with nothing on the walls captured and replayed the sonic boom echo at least a time or two more! Ahh, at least I had made it, the worst was over and now was time to just sit back and enjoy the ride. WRONG!
Ever have one of those shits that you think your gonna have to wipe until your arse bleeds and then to your amazement there's nothing there? Even when you wipe a second time to be sure you don’t get monkey butt later, still nothing there? Well, this was NOT one of those times! This was the Holy Grail of arse wiping shits...the dreaded Peanut Butter Shit! I need some friggin Brawny TP to get all this PB smooth crap out of my grommet! WTF?! I nearly broke a sweat trying to get it all off! Then to make matters worse, when I did finally get it all spik-&-span, I sat back down to rest and catch my breath and one lone little nugget jumped out of my ass for good measure! Needless to say, I feel roomier and ready for the world!

Too much Pixie Dust!!

2006-10-17T10:51:00.000-04:00

Okay, I try to be an open-minded, easy-going, live-and-let-live kinda guy. I have no issues with the sexual orientation of others. I dont judge them, they dont judge me. Well, I may have just seen the most interesting, yet disturbing website ever! The message this site strives towards is very nice and even 'good' in nature, but the pictures and er...yeah, the pictures are gonna haunt me all day (I hope no longer than that!).
I dont get it! Really, I dont! But that isnt what matters here, this guy loves this and, apparently, LIVES this! I dont want to bash him or read into appearances or nuances that conform to the 'norm' of sociey, but this guy makes it very difficult not to cross that line. Its like Richard Simmons meets Bruce Banner meets Kermit the Frog!
You've gotta check out the links all over this site and you will be astounded. I know I felt really weird with this site up on my screen. Every time someone walked by behind me, I minimized it or opened a new screen over it. Wow, this is a guy with a strong sense of self, no matter how way out or different others think of him.
I was gonna try and be extremely funny here, but once you click the link below, anything I wouldve said here will be forgotten instantly! Think I'm kidding? Go ahead, scroll down and click on this one-of-a-kind link!

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

No jagged edges...PLEASE!

2006-10-16T14:29:00.000-04:00

The phrase "Now I've seen everything!" should never be uttered by anyone EVER again!

http://www.dynamic-living.com/self-wipe.htm

And this one takes the "cake"..! OMG!!

http://www.pubdeuce.com/SCP/cakes.htm

Funny Employee Evals!

2006-10-16T13:34:00.000-04:00

One of the most infuriating and sometimes useless tools known to modern business is the Employee Evaluation report or form. Some use it more often, but these are usually done once a year on or about the employee's anniversary date. As a manager/supervisor/lucky bastard that got the promotion...whatever. You get the honor of sitting down and providing good, honest, unbiased feedback to your employee to coach them along their career path to greatness. But what if the employee sucks...er I mean doesnt meet requirements? What if you could say exactly what it is you feel that employee really needs to hear or know to get them back on track. I'm talking brutally honest feedback that sets said employee back on the road they have so obviously strayed from? I mean a slap-in-the-face, bitch slap wake-up call! Could you? Would you? I know Human Resources wont let you, but if you could?

Well, below are just some examples of good honest, to-the-point feedback comments. Dont you wish HR didnt have to sign off on your next review!

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
“His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity”
“This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be”
“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap”
“When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet”
“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle”
“This young lady has delusions of adequacy”
“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them”
“This employee should go far, and the sooner the better”
“Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together”
“He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless”
“He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier”
“I would like to go hunting with him sometime”
“He’s been working with glue too much”
“He would argue with a signpost”
“He has knack for making strangers immediately”
“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room”
“When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell”
“If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one”
“A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens”
“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it”
“Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it”
“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week”
“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean”
“It’s hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm”
“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled”
“Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes”

And here's more humor from a fellow blooger:
http://polar-digression.blogspot.com/

Say humana-humana-humana!

2006-10-12T16:00:00.000-04:00

The internet is an amazing thing! You can find articles on anything and that's not the really amazing part of it. The most amazing thing is that you can find articles written about people doing, testing, or whatever the craziest theories or studying things that make you stop and scratch your head (the big one. the one on top of your neck. now stop, you know what I'm saying!).
Let's be honest I am a guy and being a guy, I see the word "sex" and it gets my attention. You wanna' advertise something to guys, just add the word sex and you'll corner the market. You want to pay cash, check, or charge for that $10k sweater (sex) ball shaver, sir? SOLD!

It was for this reason I clicked on the link below and was astounded that this was a real study, by real doctors/scientists.
Enjoy!

http://stupac2.blogspot.com/2006/08/sex-in-mri-machine.html

They actually listen to Mom?

2006-10-11T13:38:00.000-04:00

As any parent will tell you, children have selective hearing. We say "We should really get little Sally's hearing checked. I call her and call her and she just doesn't respond." While that is a good first step, the truth of the matter is that children push the limits of what they know they should and should not do every day. I know mine do. That's their job! Its natures way of reversing the grecian formula effect and contributing to the trap in the sink with your poor follicles! But in my reading today, I came across an article that I thought for sure was going to be a goof. I was wrong and glad to be so.
I know I often don't hear my alarm clock in the morning, but I would certainly hope I would hear my smoke alarm going off. But what about the kids? Seems there is some testing going on of a new smoke alarm that actually allows the user to record their voice, in this case the Mom's, but presumably, the Dad's too, onto the alarm and when it goes off it plays the recording and children tested are actually listening! What a novel idea, but more important, what a great experiment!
Please stop and take a moment to look over the article below.

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/news/?id=535228&scid=pcbulletin:20061009:0:0:0#story

Are you Sh*ting Me?

2006-10-09T12:29:00.000-04:00

I was gonna call this post Cubicle Flatulence, then I decided to just do a quick web search of that term and I was astonished to see the link I found below!

I'm sure anyone who works in a cublicle (or even office) knows or has felt that incredible need to pass gas, cut the cheese, let one, roll out the SBD, float an air biscuit; but most of us wouldnt think of it. Not so much the sound we worry about (though we've all heard the vibrato of a morning fart!), but the noxious smell that could give us away. I know, I know, its a natural part of life, but I dont think I've ever heard my Mom let one, so it just goes to show that many of us were brought up knowing it wasnt right or acceptable to fart in public, at least not unless you are sure you can get away with it or blame someone else. Plausible gastrointestinal deniability, I think its called!

Well, worry no more! Preseting the new wonder of the office/cubicle "GasBGon"..! You have gotta read this page and check out this product. I just feel awful for the testers that had to be in the room while this product underwent its rigorous testing! Yikes!

Never say, Now I've seen everything, because sure enough, you havent!

http://www.gasbgon.com/

Morning coffee & cake?

2006-10-07T11:05:00.000-04:00

You know how sometimes you wake up and just need something out of the ordinary? Well, today is one of those days! Started by thinking something smelled stale in my house and wanted to add some sweetness. What better (other than chocolate chip cookies-ask a realtor) than chocolate cake baking to totally alter your sense of being and self!

I feel badly for our ancestors, from scratch? Who the hell has time for that? Thank goodness for Betty C and D Hines! Put on some Snow Patrol, three eggs, some oil, a good beating and some heat (hmm, sounds a bit kinky, huh?). Half an hour later and all's left is the glazing (kinky-er?) and voila!-instant (not really but what else that tastes this good can you have in a shorter period of time) gratification!

Have my cake and eat it too? Duh? Why the hell else would you go to ALL that trouble!

Peace and chicken grease!
Out!

The BUZZ on Alzheimer's!

2006-10-06T09:56:00.000-04:00

What are researchers saying today? Two different reports this week (one to be released in November) are stating that both Marijuana and Red Wine might fight the disease.

The Oct 2 issue of Molecular Pharmaceutics is saying the THC found in marijuana may inhibit an enzyme that is linked with Alzheimer's. Though the article does refute the charge that they are advocating "smoking dope".

The November issue of the FASEB Journal supports moderate red wine intake may also have benefits to those battling the disease.

So lets see, if you can remember how, since you've got the disease, roll a spliff and chase it with some Wild Irish Rose and you'll remember better? Can you say oxymoron!

(Since my last posting of this earlier today, I've found yet another bizzare story about Alzheimer's and drugs! Check out this link: http://www.11alive.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=80225. Damn, have I been alseep lately as I had heard nothing of these things?!)

Cool website link

2006-10-05T19:22:00.000-04:00

Found this while trolling today. Pretty cool and esp like the link to famous people's grave site photos! I know that makes me kinda wierd but if you know me, that's not a secret!

http://www.kidinfo.com/American_History/Famous_Historical_People.htm

caution-Foley joke ahead!

2006-10-05T15:28:00.000-04:00

Why does Congressman Foley not use bookmarks?
Because he prefers to bend over his pages!! Lol!

Hey now!

2006-10-05T15:18:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to throw together a blog of ramblings and other useless information and thoughts. Feel free to add your 2-cents (sorry I dont have change) and babble!