Responsible or accountable?

Webster's defines responsible as "obligated to do or answer for" and the word accountable as "responsible". Now that I've just muddied the waters even more, let me explain where I am going with this. I am responsible for my actions and accountable for the consequences of those actions. Still with me? I hope so, because here is the crux of where I am going today. In the past I wouldve said I had a relapse or messed up or the illness got the best of me, well no more! See, I am a recovering alcoholic and on saturday I CHOSE to have a drink, several in fact. It wasnt any one choice and there was no lapse (except in my judgement). You see, today I found a website that made me stop and think in a whole new way! The movement is called Rational Responsibilty and basically it says that you, or more correctly in this instance, I am responsbile for my actions. Its not the illness and its not a relapse, it is a choice, poor or not to be accountable for what we choose to do.

Now I'm not asking anyone else to understand this, just be open to the idea. Nor am I asking for anyone to feel sorry or badly for me, quite the contrary actually, I would ask each of you that I know for forgiveness with my past actions and that you move forward with me as I continue to make progress. Wait, that's not right either, I made a choice today and that choice is not a one-day-at-a-time choice, but a forever choice. I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN AND I WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND! No more wondering what tomorrow holds, I've decided and that decision is non-negotiable! Get it? I didnt either, but reading and re-reading this philosophy or thought process described in this website is enlightening and I am thankful I found it.

Know that I am only human, but then again, I am human and that means the control is mine!
I am sober and will continue to be...forever more!