Secret Alcohol Ingredient Discovered!

In a story that is making headlines all over the world, today scientists in Geneva have uncovered what may be the most tumultuous and disturbing find in the history of humanity. Through exhaustive tests and double and triple blind studies done under close supervision and hands on assistance from the FDA, NAACP, KKK and other support groups that many of the manufacturers of beer seemingly and unbeknownst to the general public have added a super secret ingredient to all of their recipes. This ingredient has contributed to countless crimes, riots, and accounts throughout recorded history of heinous debauchery. That secret ingredient is liquid racism!

This ingredient has been found to have a significant effect on people of low moral values, low self esteem, high self importance, and inbred stupidity. The major beer manufacturers were unavailable for comment at the time of this article’s publishing. So to recap, alcohol has been laced with liquid racism for years without the general public having any knowledge. If you feel you have imbibed any of this substance and are feeling these affects, please go to the nearest restroom and stick your finger down your throat or if you have syrup of ipecac follow the instructions on the bottle and that should work as well. If you have any of this substance at home, please dispose of it properly and by all means keep it away from your children!

The future of a tolerant humanity rests in your hands. Please do the right thing!