Great Food Memories!

Smells have an immense ability to take us somewhere. To whisk us away to a fonder more beautifully thought of time. Whether it be a candle, or bread baking, or your favorite desert; each one of us has something that takes us back to a better time. (It probably can take you back to a worse time too, but for this moment we'll deal with only the good ones.) This article came to my while reading a seed about (allow me to be vague-I don't want the federales to know what I mean) pot. No, I'm not high right now, I don't know the cool people, but that is what made me think of writing. I love food, I love working it off too, but I love food. This is a great basis if you really want a place to start. Now, not just any food, but foods from childhood are the best for me in bringing back a memory. Whether it be baklava, or Portuguese Sweet Bread, or quahogs, or even the many fragrances of a real New England clam boil! I love food, but the smells and experience of eating this kind of food is a whole other kind of a good time! I makes me smile from the inside out! Eating was always a huge part of each day when I was a little boy. Everyone seemed to get together and mill around the kitchen while either my Memere or Grand mother or great aunt or great uncle would be going at it stirring up smells and aromatic presents. Cooking was an event and a time for people to reconnect.
I have fond memories of hiding under my Aunt Joyce's dinner table while the ten foot long by four foot wide table would engorge itself with every amazing food my relatives could imagine and even more than I could imagine. What a feast!! A feast for the senses, a feast for the eyes, and one of the fondest memories I have of food! Though the eating of it was incredible as well!
I have a memory, now it was so long ago I don't know if its a memory of actually being there or a memory of being told I was there and this is what happened, but I like the first scenario perspective so here I go. My great aunt and uncle lived in a walk-up in the New Bedford area of Massachusetts. This is a window open, everyone says hi, very warm and safe kind of neighborhood. Smells came at you from everywhere; clothes drying, old cars, wood siding, and food being prepared or even just the sweet left over aroma of the plates of a good breakfast just being cleared.
In my aunt and uncles place, there was a bit of a musty smell at first entering their home, followed then by the rush of everything cooking all throughout the apartment. Fast forward to a few minutes later, pleasantries past, as I walk over to the window and the radiator in front of it. Standing tall and shiny is a huge sauce pot full of the most amazing smelling red sauce, just slowly stewing away on the top of the radiator! You cook where you cook, I guess. I still think of that as being an amazing place and an amazing memory.
What about you, what memory of food do you hold close to you that makes your whole spirit smile?

Secret Alcohol Ingredient Discovered!

In a story that is making headlines all over the world, today scientists in Geneva have uncovered what may be the most tumultuous and disturbing find in the history of humanity. Through exhaustive tests and double and triple blind studies done under close supervision and hands on assistance from the FDA, NAACP, KKK and other support groups that many of the manufacturers of beer seemingly and unbeknownst to the general public have added a super secret ingredient to all of their recipes. This ingredient has contributed to countless crimes, riots, and accounts throughout recorded history of heinous debauchery. That secret ingredient is liquid racism!

This ingredient has been found to have a significant effect on people of low moral values, low self esteem, high self importance, and inbred stupidity. The major beer manufacturers were unavailable for comment at the time of this article’s publishing. So to recap, alcohol has been laced with liquid racism for years without the general public having any knowledge. If you feel you have imbibed any of this substance and are feeling these affects, please go to the nearest restroom and stick your finger down your throat or if you have syrup of ipecac follow the instructions on the bottle and that should work as well. If you have any of this substance at home, please dispose of it properly and by all means keep it away from your children!

The future of a tolerant humanity rests in your hands. Please do the right thing!

What's your favorite automobile ever?

I love cars! As such, I after I have gotten past the initial stages of getting to know someone, (cursory likes and dislikes, favorite foods, movies, music, etc); my next question without fail is this:
What is your favorite automobile of all time?
It’s a relatively simple question until you really start breathe into it, think about, and give it life. People like automobiles for so many different reasons and with so many different criteria that it is nearly impossible to truly name THE best automobile of all time. It just doesn’t work that way for me. I know people can break it down into favorite muscle car, or exotic, or suv, or whatever, but takes some of the simple pleasure out of why we actually like automobiles in the first place.
As things are right now, there really is an automobile out there for everyone; whether you are environmentally concerned or a speed junkie, if you are willing to look there is something out there to suit your needs and/or wants.
I’ve put together a short list of automobiles that I think are fantastic, but I’d love to get your choices too.
-Jaguar E type, Xj220, Mk2, Xk ss
-Lamborghini Muira, Countach, Murcielago, Gallado,
-Aston martin Db5, Db7, Db9, Vanquish, Db4 Gt zagato
-Ferrari 250 gto, Daytona, Testarossa, 288 gto, F40, F50, 456, Maralleno/550, Enzo
-Lotus Esprit, Elise, Elite
-Porsche 911, Carrera Gt
-Mercedes Benz Slr Mclaren
-Ford Gt40
-Bentley Continental Gt
-Ac/Shelby cobra, Gt350, Gt500
-Pagani Zonda
-Mclaren F1
-Buggati Eb110, Veyron
-Mg B
-Bmw M1
-Jeep CJ7
-1969 Mercury Cougar (sorry, the first car I bought with my money!)
-And of course the 1966 Chevy Corvette! (I LOVE VETTES!)

Now that you’ve seen what I like, take a minute and give it some thought and let me know what you agree with or disagree with and what automobile you would put in the pantheon of automotive excellence!

Clarity of a Common Man

I am not a health expert, I don’t even play one on TV, but what I do know is what I feel and how I think and what works for me. I’ve read many of the books that have come out over the years about self-help, or building a better you (me), or how to meditate, or how to pray, or whatever. I guess that each of these egocentric pursuits has had an impact on how I think and feel, but none was, in itself, the answer for me.

I believe we, as inspired beings of nature, nurture, and imagination can find what works for each of us, but it requires that we question everything. If you are brought up within your family’s belief system and you find something within you that cannot accept that system for yourself, question why that is and pursue and research ways of thinking similar to what you have/had in mind. Personal meditation techniques are just that, personal; what you find works for one person may not (and often probably will not) work for you. That doesn’t mean you need to abandon your pursuit of peace, just tweak it a bit maybe and see what happens…after all you are the most knowledgeable person when it comes to you, right? Use what you know of yourself to make the quest for your peacefulness and insight more concise and adaptive to what you wish to accomplish. I find that imagery works best for me. I picture balloons suspended above me, within each balloon a thought, or stress, or task, or whatever that I need to deal with. I hold tight to each of the balloon strings and close my eyes, then release. Just as I feel that last string sliding out of my hand I open my eyes and look up to see what it is that was last to leave or float away and THAT is the thing I deal with first. I know this is a fairly simplistic approach to problem resolution, but who says the journey needs to always be a difficult one?

Each moment is special and often, in retrospect, we feel we don’t get to enjoy it to the fullest. However, if indeed you are remembering back to an instance you feel you didn’t make special enough at that time, stop and think to yourself; If I am remembering that moment and wishing I had made it more special at the time, maybe that moment actually was special as (you) made a memory of it to relive whenever you wanted to recall it. Moments that we can cherish are those that we remember with more than one sense. People often speak of a song or a smell or a taste bringing back a memory. To me what that means is that you really WERE in that moment and enjoying it to the fullest and that certainly fits my definition of special.

“Every day on this side of the dirt is a good day.” I heard this once years ago and I do not know whom to attribute it to, but what I do know is if you can get past the aspects of the argument of afterlife and enjoy, REALLY ENJOY, your time ‘on this side of the dirt’…the little things that used to bother you, just seem to fade away.

VW Vibrator

Fade in to a long silver cord draped from the dashboard, curling its way up and between the legs of a beautiful young woman sitting in the front seat of her brand new VW Rabbit! A gentle wurr rising from behind the sensual pulsating music makes itself noticed over the driving beat. The camera glides upward revealing a beautiful smile followed immediately by pursed lips and a whimpering sigh. The woman purrs and the music crescendos, the camera pans over her thigh and reveals...the world's best selling and most popular vibrator; the Rabbit...THIS time it’s the new Rabbit VW Rabbit Signature Edition with dc power cord included for those long lonely road trips!
The new VW Rabbit Rabbit! Taking self indulgence to the next level! Move over Slash and John Mayer!
VW drivers wanted!
(Hey, it could happen. I'll call it C ooperative U nilateral M arketing!)

How hot do you like it?

I can remember growing up with hot sauce seemingly ever present in my life. Its been a friend to spice up boring days and warm cold nights; to help down the beverages of amber persuasion and to top off a great night out.

See when I was a child, hot sauce was used, not sparingly I might add, as a deterrent to my fingernail biting (sorry, gross habit, but whatever). To the best of my knowledge the only hot sauces used on me were Tabasco and Pete's. Now, I'm not saying this was the first line of defense for my nails; I had been subjected to bitter apple, cinnamon, and at lest one other medicinal gooey crap that either I cant remember the name of or I've shoved so far down in my subconscious it would take hypnosis to get it back. As you must have surmised by now, none of these worked...actually quite to the contrary. My favorite flavored candy is cinnamon, I LOVE bitter apple, BUT the gooey crap...not happenin'!

I do however have an affinity for hot and spicy sauces and food. It started with those sauces that we in the spicy food club (not really a club, but I started typing it and just ended up there-go with me here, huh!?) consider MILD. I graduated to jalapeno sauces and a myriad of other combinations. Until one day, may years ago, I happened upon a company called Dave's. I called (yes, not point and clicked) and order a bottle of Insanity Sauce! It just sounded so good and hot and, well, hot! Could this be it? Could this be the sauce that ends my search?

A week or so passed and the parcel arrived at my door. It was beautiful! I couldn't wait to open it and dab some on my finger to taste! So I did. DAMN, that was hot! I used it on EVERYTHING...much to the displeasure of many unsuspecting dinner and/or party guests! Sorry! (You know who you are.) I couldn't get enough of the stuff. But as with most spicy addicts this too soon became tame, so this time I went on line and found Dave's. This time he was offering Totally Insanity and Ultimate Insanity sauces. Well, damn, why choose, so I ordered both.

Again a week went bye and my precious box arrived. I went through the same process of cursing the bubble wrap and packing tape and opened it to find two stunningly simple yet ominous looking bottles. I respectfully twisted open the Total Insanity sauce and found it to be quite hot and spicy but not obnoxious. Then came the time to try the Ultimate Insanity Sauce...holy shit! This stuff could be used to clean the rust off of your car! Don't get me wrong, after my taste buds got out of the ICU, the taste was very good, but WTF!?!

Not too long after that I was amazed to find a tv show, on Discovery I believe, about the making of Dave's sauces. They went through the usual processes for most of the sauces, BUT then they came to the Ultimate Insanity sauce. These workers were wearing clean suits, goggles, and respirators for fudge sake!!! No wonder that stuff tooled my world!

So now I just use habenero sauce and count my taste buds lucky to still be alive!

Hmmmm?

How about these interesting tidbits. Please feel free to add to the list.
(Btw-Do you know the name of the plastic things at the end of shoelaces? I do!)

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of asecond.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All 50 states are listed across the top of theLincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appearuntil the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in theletters "mt".

February 1865 is the only month in recorded historynot to have a full moon.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying overthe Parliament building is an American flag.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, butour nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with onlythe left hand; "lollipop" with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of thetyping.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over thelazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Fallsfroze completely solid.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English languagewhich end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language thathave all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be madeusing the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room duringa dance.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucusevery two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

Then was funny than now!

Spent a little time perusingthe web for funny commentaries and how they have changed as the times have.Please feel free to share any you may have. I know, or have heard of is probably more acurate, tons more, so let's see what you've got!

then: "Battleship mouth and a rowboat ass."
now: Big talker, small doer.

then: Busier than a one legged cat tryin' to bury @!$%# on a marble floor.
now: a very busy person

then: Busier than a one legged cat tryin' to bury @!$%# on a marble floor.
now: a very busy person

then: Stick a broom up my ass, and I'll sweep the floor while I'm at it.
now: Don't give me anything else to do, I am already too busy.

then: Sounds like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
now: Someone who is full of it, can't be believed.

then: I'd walk through hell in gasoline underwear for you.
now: I love you.

then: Shakin like a dog @!$%#tin a peach pit
now: Trembling with fear

then: Looks like S/He chased a fart through a barrel of nails!
now: S/He is pretty darn ugly.

then: His head whistles in a cross wind.
now: He has no brains at all!

then: If you taped his mouth shut, he'd fart himself to death.
now: He is long winded

Would an avatar by any other name, smell as sweet?

It is one of those things that you either find and love or keep messing with and changing until you find one to love and keep…it’s your avatar. I started with my first being a picture of me from an older board of directors website (I know, though I’m really not lame, I play lame on the vine a lot!), but quickly got tired of it. Then I noticed that a few of my friends were beginning to change their avatars more and more often. When I asked them their reasons for this, the list was long, but what it really boiled down to for most of them (and me as well) is that it is extremely difficult for some of us to find that one true image that not only interests us, but more importantly one that inspires us to achieve greatness, to find our true altruistic inner-being…oh, ah, sorry, got a little carried away. But in all seriousness, NOT, I have been struggling with what makes a person choose their avatar. I’ve been paying special attention to those of my friends lately and I’ve noticed that they seem to boil down to a few categories.

First, I see the usual (though often times quite off-center and unusual) self portraits. These can either be innocuous or, more often than not, bizarre and/or self-deprecating. I think my favorite picture avatar is one that made me look very tan and happy, though I was quite pale and not very happy to be having my picture taken.

The second type of avatar I find in increasing numbers is of the spoof or comedic genre; the funny movie star snapshot or the cartoon character funny-face image that makes us smile. Though I have not come across the Laura Croft avatar, I still hold out hope that she exists out there…somewhere!

Whatever the reason for your choosing your avatar, I’d love to hear from you. Hopefully I will garner some knowledge from each of you to assist me in my quest for my holy grail of avatars soon…until then “I fart in your general direction!” (Monty Python cracks me up!)

To Lift the Seat or Not!?

Sorry, I know, the title doesn’t actually address specifically what this article is about, but it is catchy!
I wanted to put this out there to get others’ opinions on this extremely important issue.
When is it permissible for a man to use the woman’s rest room?
I know I’ve been to bars and parties and concerts, etc where the women’s room line is ridiculous (these places must be designed by men, huh?!) and the men’s room line is virtually non-existent and women are more than eager to step inside and relieve themselves. BUT, with all the concerns women have about men’s rest room habits; e.g. leaving the seat up, urinating on the seat or floor, etc; when is it truly okay for a man to step into the ladies room to utilize the facilities?
I was just at Starbucks and the line for coffee was long (imagine that!?) and so I figured I would go and answer nature’s call while I waited. I got to the men’s room and turned the handle and noticed it was locked, so I stepped back to wait my turn. From within the men’s room I could hear the toilet flushing, the sink turning on and off, then lather-rinse-repeat…SEVERAL times! What could this guy be doing? THEN I heard the familiar chirp of a Nextel from within the nether land of potty-dom! What the heck? Another guy came around the corner and was frustrated to see me waiting so he turned and walked away, only to return moments later to tell me (why I’m not sure) that he just needed to wash his hands and so he entered the lady’s room. Mind you not one woman had come near the lady’s room the whole time I was standing there waiting my turn for the men’s room so I couldn’t exactly fault the guy. It did, however, make me think about when it would be allowable and/or permissible for me to actually enter the woman’s room and do my business. Then I thought, the ‘vine (for those of you who dont know me, I am also an avid contributor to Newsvine as vicaxp-check it out at http://www.newsvine.com), what better place to get feedback on this important topic.

So there you have it, my reasoning for posing the question to all of you.

BTW-The gentleman did finally come out about 20 minutes after I had begun waiting with a cell phone, brown paper towels, and an empty coffee cup in his hands. I didn’t ask, but I had, indeed, waited my turn and used the appropriate, gender-specific facility.